Day Three - The Hardest Concept to Grasp

As a serial "dieter" I had plenty of time to sit and think about what I was doing wrong. What foods was I eating? How many calories have I ingested? How much of my weight is muscle and how much is fat? Am I genetically designed to be fat? Do I have a thyroid problem? Maybe my cells are mutated and I have a rare inability to lose weight and can only gain! My doctor says I have a "large frame," does that mean I'm supposed to be fat?

Then come the excuses:
I have no time.
I'm just "big boned."
People stare at me if I go into a gym, they're judging me.
I don't have money to get a personal trainer.
I don't have money for a gym membership.
I don't like sweating.
I like eating and life is short, so have "fun."

Finally, the big kahuna: "It's just not worth it."

The worst thing you can tell yourself is that losing weight and gaining back your health is too much of a hassle, too embarrassing, or takes too much of a toll on your schedule that you call a "life." Oftentimes we avoid confrontation, especially when we have to confront ourselves. This is the place weight loss became a problem for me. I would rather starve myself than get out and do something about the excess weight I had put on. I ate so little that my metabolism slowed and it seemed virtually impossible to lose any weight, but easy to gain. I still struggle with this, but I'm trying to get better.

It's a pretty hard thing to digest when you hear from your doctor "You need to eat more so you can regulate your metabolism and lose weight." Um, EXCUSE ME? I have to EAT to LOSE WEIGHT? Psycho, time to find another doctor! I hate to admit it, but... I had to up my eating before I could really lose the weight I was wanting to lose. I had lost 5 lbs here and 3 lbs there, but for consistency I had to make sure I maintained a normal caloric intake and spent some of my calories doing physical activity. I also found that exerting energy via working out gave me more energy throughout the day - the lethargy went away, the necessary afternoon nap was no longer necessary (but still enjoyed here and there), and I found myself actually feeling hungry once again - something I thought I had lost. Today was my day off from the gym and I found myself wanting to hop in my car to go to the gym, but I know my body needs days off to repair from the work I've done and I give myself 2 days off a week from weight lifting. I do continue cardio 7 days a week, mostly brisk walking on my days off. Tuesday and Saturday are the two days I give myself "off," I feel better when I spread those days out and do not have them back-to-back because once you take two days off, that third day is hard to get back to the gym. I will tell you, it is probably worse at the beginning of weight loss, when you get to the point where you look forward to the gym... it's excruciating having to wait two days to go back. It's pretty late so I'll continue this tomorrow!